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Brain Game

A quest to find Calgary's smartest person reveals a bevy of bright brains,
renaissance calgarians, and a whole bunch of humble geniuses. Why doesn't anyone
want to step up and claim the crown? Maybe because intelligence is so hard to
measure.

By Scott cruickshank, Calgary Herald
June 13, 2010

Story

Photos ( 2 )

More Images »

Vicki Herd is an accountant and secretary-treasurer of the
branch of Mensa in Calgary. She humbly denies that she's the brainiest in town;
a lofty IQ is status quo for some.

Photograph by: Leah Hennel, Calgary Herald, Calgary
Herald

It's tough to watch a grown man squawk. But squawk Dan Hoch does.

His impassioned protest arrives after a morning of engaging chatter in his
office at R.J. Hawkey Elementary School in Airdrie.

Attired casually in a short-sleeved shirt, chinos, sandals, Hoch had been
expounding eloquently, while the interviewer mentally nodded through an informal
checklist:

- Brain power: Hoch belongs to the International Society of Philosophical
Enquiry. Membership requires an intelligence quotient in the top 0.1 percentile,
which translates into a score of 149. Or higher.

- Diverse interests: Hoch acts, paints, gardens, plays guitar. He writes
poetry, and writes for trade magazines. He wins awards for his sketches, for his
homemade wine. He played college hockey, and college soccer. He has also
weight-lifted competitively.

Hoch can find wisdom in the words of Albert Einstein -- "The true sign of
intelligence is not knowledge, but imagination" is his e-mail tag line -- and in
the words of Brent Sutter. He has tacked up a newspaper story -- clipped,
highlighted, laminated -- about the Calgary Flames' head coach. As a teacher,
Hoch appreciates Sutter's unwavering approach.

- Contributions: From his principal's cockpit, Hoch has spearheaded two
initiatives. One bolstered donations to the area's food bank, the other
organized a thorough cleanup of local green space. Both were hits.

- Communication: Always on point. Charming conversationalist. Spins yarns.
Ever hear the one about his old man turning a washing machine into a meat
grinder?

What more evidence could anyone ask for?

Finally. Search is over. Criteria are met. This is it.

All that remains is confirmation.

Here goes -- Dan, are you Calgary's smartest person?

Commence squawking. "Oh God, no!"

For good measure, Hoch repeats himself.

"Oh God, no. Not by a long shot. To be one in a million? I know I'm not that
smart. I know it."

Besides, he's not interested.

"Would anyone want the crown?" says Hoch, 54. "It's probably a very heavy
crown because the expectations would be through the roof."

Hoch could just hear the critics. He affects the voice of garden-variety
nitpicker: "You should be able to do everything. You should be able to be my
stock guy, so here's my portfolio -- I want this doubled in a year. Because if
you're that smart you should be able to do this. Your romantic relationships --
you should be the Hugh Hefner of relationships. You can figure out how to make
it work. Your net worth ... you should be living in Mount Royal. Why do I need
to come to your house to boost your battery? If you're that smart, you should be
able to figure it out. Come on. Stick some wires in a socket, run it through a
conduit, charge your battery. Come on."

Hoch, relaxed again, laughs.

"The expectation that you should be able to do everything? It would be
substantial."

He shakes his head. "Who would want it?"

---

Jeepers, somebody must want the darned thing.

That had been the whole point of this exercise.

A few weeks back, an unburdened hockey writer was ordered to track down the
smartest person in Calgary, then report back.

Not a bad gig. A fellow could even pick up a little lunch money along the
way. (Your grizzled agent, by the way, was swiftly disqualifi ed from
contention, having failed to navigate the security door on the third floor of
the Calgary Centre for Innovative Technology building -- it had been a two-step
process, clearly posted.) Not a complete fool, though, the challenge of the
assignment had been recognized immediately.

Which meant seeking a shortcut.

Which meant Don Saklofske -- intelligence expert at the University of
Calgary, consultant for CBC's Test The Nation -- was soon cornered. Here, on the
eighth floor of the Education Tower, in a book-filled bunker, would come a shove
in the proper direction.

Right?

"Finding Calgary's smartest person?" repeats Saklofske, wearing a look of
pity. "Good bloody luck."

The mission, you see, is fundamentally flawed.

"First of all, you couldn't do it. I don't think it's possible," he says.
"How are you going to define intelligence? It's an elusive construct."

Oh. Saklofske illustrates his point.

Take singer-poet-novelist Leonard Cohen -- "He has the capacity to capture
the essence of life."

Take the cancer researcher -- "He's sitting there looking at that one rogue
cell, going, 'What's going on with that thing?' "

Saklofske shrugs.

"Completely different intelligence, but how do you stack them up?"

Or stack up the following bright bulbs of Cowtown:

- Tory Weber: dozens of inventions to his name.

- Chad VanGaalen: musician, writer, cartoonist, artist.

- Will Ferguson: Stephen Leacock Memorial Medals for humour writing cram his
trophy case.

- Brett Wilson and Peter Tertzakian: financial maestros both.

- Elizabeth Cannon: first female president of the University of Calgary.

- Eric Hansen: Poised, at 18, to become the city's first International Master
of chess. Next stop, Grandmaster.

On and on and on.

Yes, like any metropolis, Calgary boasts a dizzying cross-section of
achievers.

Maybe IQ tests could sharpen the focus.

"If your editor tells you, 'Go find the best person in Calgary,' how would
you do that?" says Jeff Pugh, teacher at Western Canada High School and holder
of four degrees. "What's 'best'? You don't even have a tool to measure that. At
least with the smartest-person (search), they've got a vaguely signifi-cant tool
that measures one particular aspect poorly."

Poorly -- and not as exclusively as you'd hope.

Mensa, the planet's most popular brainy bunch, requires scores beyond the
98th percentile, a 1-in-50 proposition. In other words, Calgary, a city of a
million, is home to 20,000 potential Mensans -- a gathering that would overflow
the Pengrowth Saddledome.

"Kind of mind-boggling," says Hoch. "Kind of humbling when you start to think
of the numbers."

So how useful is it? Whizzes give it a wide berth.

"In my field, we would never think about IQs as an indicator," says Barry
Sanders, a quantum physicist at the University of Calgary. "I would consider you
smart if the smart people I know told me that you're smart."

Hey, great idea. Now we're getting somewhere.

---

Except we don't.

This plan of attack -- obviously informal, ridiculously slapdash -- had been
to scour the city for craniums. Then ask them for candidates. Then ask the
candidates for candidates.

All of which would funnel into a consensus. In theory.

In practice, however, the list got longer and longer -- a mushroom cloud of
nominations.

"I could name a thousand people off the top of my head who are bright,"
Saklofske had warned. "I could also name a thousand more people who are brighter
than them."

OK, moving on. Plan B.

Maybe by concocting a working definition of "smart," our sharpest citizen
would emerge.

"Depends," says Jared Bancroft, a gentleman barrelling towards his PhD in
geomatics engineering. "Are they smart in everything? Do they know a lot of
random facts? The Trivial Pursuit expert may not be able to change a tire. Can
they build things? Are they the Iron Man, a Tony Stark kind of guy, sitting in
their basement building suits?"

But one thing about intelligent folks, they do love a debate. Tesla vs.
Edison. Bohr vs. Einstein. Monty Python vs. Star Trek.

So-- via e-mail, over the phone, in coffee shops, across office desks, around
dining-room tables -- a snapshot of "smart" does come to light:

- Scores aren't enough. "If you have nothing but high IQ, you're pretty much
stalled on the highway of life," says Pugh. "You're smart -- but you're all by
yourself."

- Diverse interests: Wellroundedness is essential. "A little bit of
everything keeps me amused," says Hoch. "I can write a poem as easily as I can
paint a picture and make a bottle of wine, presumably as easily as I might be
able to administer a school." ( "It ain't bragging if you can do it," Dizzy
Dean, noted sage, once remarked.)

- Contributions: "How smart you are, that's just an abstraction," says
Saklofske. "What we care about is what you do with your smarts." William James
Sidis, with an estimated IQ of 250, collected streetcar tokens. Chris Langan,
some say the planet's smartest chap, was a bouncer. "The equivalent of having
the most powerful car in the world," says Sanders, "and only driving around in a
playground zone."

- Communication: Bancroft's research takes a federated filter approach,
fusing multiple inertial units together in the estimation domain and mitigating
GPS multipath using a fault detection algorithm. Not that he'd dare to tell
anyone that.

"Their eyes glaze over," he says, chuckling. "If you're that weird person
that no one wants to listen to? You can be the most gifted, most intelligent . .
. and it's useless. That's the biggest waste ever."

---

Skimming the surface of the city's cerebrum for a fortnight unearths a load
of qualified smarties.

But no takers.

Like these two innovative mash-up artists -- Barry Sanders, who's merging
quantum physics with information science; Christian Bok, who's translating a
poem into a genetic sequence, which will be implanted into a bacterium, which
will produce a protein, which will be translated into verse (or something like
that).

Neither wants a shot at the Calgary title.

"It's silly," says Bok, chuckling. "Insofar as I know, there are people who
are a lot smarter. I would certainly be very skeptical. The intelligence in the
arts pales in comparison to the intelligence required to be a quantum
physicist."

So Sanders, you're up.

"I would be embarrassed because I know two students (who) out-class me," says
Sanders, referring to Adrian Keet and Alexander Hentschel.

"We're in a profession where we're all acutely aware of intelligence ... and
we all know people we think are smarter than we are."

In the face of all this modesty, Sanders does pose an interesting
wrinkle.

"If somebody also gave a million dollars, I don't think any of the people you
interviewed would hesitate," he says. " 'How would you feel about being chosen
as Calgary's smartest person and getting a cheque for a million dollars?' They
would say, 'Yeah, great.' But how you feel about being chosen and getting a
cheque for zero dollars? They'd say what I'm saying -- 'Too humble.'

"It's kind of like a game show."

Sanders, party-pooper, continues to muddy the waters.

"I'm stunned when I see carpenters work. Just brilliant," he says. "I
consider them very smart. No matter how many pieces of paper I have or how many
letters I have after my name, I can't match what they do. I'm awed by that kind
of thing."

Suppose someone tells Vicki Herd -- accountant by day, Mensa secretary/
treasurer by night -- that she is the smartest person in Calgary. What is her
reaction?

"One of humble scoffing that they are incorrect," says Herd. "Many of us feel
we are just normal because we have always been like this. Then again, normal is
just a setting on the washing machine."

---

Don't get them wrong -- they dig being brainy. No one was offering to swap
their grey matter for a sports writer's.

"Being smart is great," says Bok. "There are times when the stupidity of
others will seem teeth-gritting and outraging. . . . I suppose that can be
challenging. But it's a great boon to participate in the world, smartly and
intelligently. I would suggest that everybody partake."

But life's quest, according to Pugh, is more than puzzle-solving and
horizon-broadening.

"The whole point is to be happy, right?" he says. "And if you're really,
really smart, but you're not happy, and all you can see are flaws all around you
-- is that intelligence or is that a defect? I know people with really low IQs
tend not to be happy because they don't understand what's going on around them
and they're frustrated all the time. Conversely, people with high IQs see the
way things ought to run, and they're frustrated and unhappy about that.

"Where's the blessed middle ground in all that?"

Where's the blessed answer to the original task?

(Cue the cop-out.)

One sign of smartness, insist some, is acknowledging that not everything is
knowable -- and being OK with that. (Example: Why did the Flames allow Michael
Cammalleri to walk last summer?) So, identifying Calgary's smartest person?

There can be no definitive answer. And that, hopefully, is OK.

Embracing the most objective standard available -- IQ rankings -- would not
help ... unless you force one million citizens sit down for tests. And without
scores, assessment becomes even messier due to the unmeasurable array of
brightness on display in our burg.

So ends the search.

Sanders, hearing that no declaration is forthcoming, that the throne shall
remain unoccupied, nods.

"If I was reading the story, I would appreciate knowing that smart is
multi-dimensional," he says, smiling. "Knowing that everyone is smart in their
own way is the happy ending."

[email-masked]

© Copyright (c) The Calgary Herald

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Vicki Herd is an accountant and secretary-treasurer of
the branch of Mensa in Calgary. She humbly denies that she's the brainiest in
town; a lofty IQ is status quo for some.

Photograph by: Leah Hennel, Calgary Herald,
Calgary Herald

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